You’re driving to work, traffic is whizzing along, you’re singing with the 70s station, and suddenly, brake lights, then orange barrels, and then the dreaded sign that says “Freeway down to one lane ahead.”

So, you creep through the mess, crabby, frustrated and impatient. You finally get down to one lane, the nexus of the whole morass, and there’s nothing there. Just a bunch of useless barrels and barricades, shutting you off from five beautifully clear lanes of concrete.

What the *&%#$*@? Why would anyone do this?

Yet that is exactly what we do to ourselves.

If you believe (as I do) that joy, abundance, fulfillment, health, happiness and love are our birthright, and that these flow to us, have always flowed to us and will always flow to us unimpeded, then why aren’t we joyful, abundant, fulfilled, healthy, happy and loving?

One reason is because we’ve built some pretty robust roadblocks in the form of limiting thoughts, beliefs and behaviors.

Let’s take abundance. If you approach life from the position of “lack” – what you don’t have – whether it’s money, a relationship, a job you like, etc., then “lack” is all you will see. And even if you do get a little wink from the Universe in the form of an unexpected check in the mail, if you’ve got your “lack-vison” goggles on, your response might be suspicion, or “I don’t deserve this,” instead of feeling gratitude that grace broke through your barricade.

But we can condition an expectation of abundance, and affirmations are a great starting point. If said repeatedly and with conviction, they morph into much healthier beliefs. My favorites are “I’m grateful for the abundance that is heading my way” or “abundance flows easily to me.” Saying this may feel uncomfortable at first, but not because it’s not true, just because it’s unfamiliar for most of us to expect such radical goodness.

Knowing that abundance takes many forms can change your perspective, too. Money may not be plentiful at the moment, but you have a beautiful, healthy family or an incredible network of friends. Gratitude also helps condition abundance. If you begin each morning with thanks for the abundance you do have and all that is headed your way, you might be surprised how much more you’ll notice and attract.

I got this.

I can handle this.

I don’t need any help.

Sound familiar? For most of us, it’s our go-to answer when faced with life’s inevitable difficulties. And most of the time, we do a darned good job. But sometimes life zings us a 95 mph Max Scherzer four-seam fastball that leaves the best of us wondering what the hell just happened.

Maybe it’s a serious illness. The loss of a job. Or someone you love is struggling. All these things can be totally overwhelming and leave you with a strong desire to crawl into bed, channel your inner Grizzly and hibernate for a month or two or 20.

While this escape may bring momentary comfort, all the things that sent you running — the illness, job search, despondent family member – are right there when you decide to rejoin civilization.

As hard as it is, sometimes for our own peace of mind and growth, we need to ask for help. It’s as close as a friend, family member, a support group or our faith. But maintaining the mantra “I don’t need help. I should be able to handle this” isn’t strength.

It’s pride. And not the healthy varietal.

Admitting that we aren’t the General Manager of the Universe, and that we can’t do everything on our own is not weakness. It is not a character flaw. It is not a sign that you are somehow deficient in emotional or mental fortitude.

It is awareness and surrender and grace. And in a very unexpected way, you end up being stronger.